Shantanu had returned to India New York
So, finally he was here, back toIndia
So, finally he was here, back to
“I am so happy that my son has come back....we are throwing a huge party...” said Madhavi on the dining table.
“No, mom please. I am already tired and have jetlag.......I am going to sleep off again ……..and no party please,” Shaan requested.
“We have already invited our friends and everyone at office too is excited to see you back. Relatives are dying to meet you and friends have lined up with marriage proposals of their classy daughters for my son.” Madhavi was excited to inform.
“What? Marriage?...........No.........Not so soon.” He declared.
“Why? Everybody has to get married. You have completed your studies, will be joining business from Monday.....it’s high time, that we start looking for prospective brides for you....or if you have someone in your life, then we don’t mind.” Madhavi tried to know if he had a steady affair ready to be culminated into a forever bond.
“No, mom………...I am single.”
“Awww…….....come to party tonight.........you won’t regret.”
“Mom, please…......”
“Listen beta, you will meet many people tonight,” intervened Sunil, “There will be business partners, friends……many girls. One of our friend and business partner Mr. Sharma’s daughter is also coming tonight.......we all love her a lot. She has helped us many times in business presentations and meetings. When Mr. Sharma discussed this proposal with us.........all of us were elated. Obviously, we won’t force you, but I think you should meet her ……..”
“Dad......aap bhi shuroo ho gaye,......” Shaan was disgusted.
“Ek baar milne mein kya buraai hai?”
“But I am just not thinking of marriage….” He protested without any hope.
Madhavi and Sunil left to take care of the party preparations……leaving the brothers on the table.
“Bhaiya,.....I am screwed up......what to do now?”
“Chotey, just meet her once......she is good….her name is Khanak.”
“Why? I don’t understand, why should I meet any random girl…….. out of the blue..... Firstly, I don’t want to get married now.....not before I am 30 years old...........I have made a deadline for myself……...I have much more to explore than get married and romance my wife. Secondly, I will never marry without love.....No way !!!!”
“Okay, it’s no big deal........so you don’t get married to her……..just meet her and tell us that you don’t like her........dad and mom will never force you……...”
“I know that ………...but this will be so bad...............No, I don’t think it is right !”
“So, just talk to her in a friendly way and tell her that you are not ready for marriage. She will understand and won’t be hurt……..”
“Slightly better idea.....” he murmured thinking about it.
In the evening, Shantanu did not take pains to get ready for the party. While Akshay and Sunil wore suits, he wore a black shirt and blue jeans. He always believed in dressing as he felt like and today was no different. He didn’t want to get ready like already prepared to head to the altar.
Madhavi and Khushboo visited the beauty parlour before the party, and as Sunil ordered their driver to pick up some relatives from the airport, they realized at the last moment, that they did not have a driver and car and asked Sunil to send someone. Finally, Shantanu went to pick both of them from the parlour.
There was huge traffic on the roads and they became a little late while returning back. Sunil was mad at them and Madhvi and Khushboo rushed inside followed by Shaan.
The party was huge and rocking. The family made Shantanu meet a lot of business partners, friends, their daughters…………. so much that Shantanu was finally fed up.
“Shaan, I have forgotten my cell phone in the car.....can you please bring it?”
“Sure Bhabhi....” he was more than elated to move out from there.
As he headed for the parking space.....the darkness increased and the lights and noise of sound faded. He felt much better now and relieved from the suffocation that the crowd offered. He never wanted to pick up bhabhi’s phone and go back to the party…….......so he opened the car, took the phone and strolled around for a few minutes in the parking lot and on a secluded small road adjoining it. He didn’t want to go inside, for the fear of meeting the unknown stranger……. threatening to be his wife. Meeting a girl and then behaving irresponsibly by saying ‘no’ to her......... would be so cheap, he thought. He was principally against such arrangements.
He was very far from the party hall and felt peaceful here. It started drizzling and he enjoyed the water droplets and slowly, the size of droplets increased to an extent that it gained the capacity to wet anyone. He had generally disliked getting wet but today he didn’t know why, but he felt like soaking himself in the rain. He was in Mumbai rain after 2 years.......and he stood there, feeling it all over him.
Suddenly, he felt a strong presence around his left side........and as he turned subtly, he saw a shadow and a red odhani following it to a small shade…......he considered it to be his illusion and returned to his reverie……..he closed his eyes and turned up his face towards the sky to feel the showers on his face.
“Hey, what are you doing?” the shadow could speak. He turned towards the voice, startled by the sudden break in his spell, only to get into another one……..while a hand with fine, delicate fingers wrapped around his wrist and dragged him towards it. He couldn’t speak anything and was numb to react as he saw the hand drag him towards a small shade by the end of the parking space.
“What are you doing? It is raining...........you’ll get wet and fall ill.”
He was dumbfounded at the interaction. She must have been around, while he strolled and he hadn’t noticed her. She ran immediately as it started raining and he wasn’t sure why she made him come with her. He still wasn’t able to see her face clearly, as she had turned all her hair on one side and ran fingers through them to keep them dry. Her red chiffon odhani swayed in breeze touching him in between and leaving him stunned more. He had felt her fingers on her wrist and they were soft, very soft, yet so firm....burning on touch. Her voice was like millions of musical instruments playing in coherence.
Shaan, focus !!........why are you so mesmerized? You have been with girls before !!
He turned away and looked in the other direction. It had started raining heavily, and it was impossible to walk away without getting completely drenched…......they were saved due to the small shade, good enough for two and well covered;
He looked back at her and was surprised to find her looking at him. He was ‘taken’ by her eyes..........black, doe-shaped, deep........captivating !! He tried not to look at her directly and looked away once again, trying to deviate his attention.
He realised that it was the parking lot..........for his party……...so, who is she? he thought.
“Did you come for this party?” he asked trying to act casual.
“Of course ! My dad brought me to this ‘boring ‘ party..........”
“Is it boring?” he was not very happy on listening to this, but still liked her honesty.
“It is.............believe me. All such parties are boring, especially this one......”
“And, what is so specially boring about it?”
“Don’t you know?..........Sunil uncle’s son has returned from US.....now explain it to me, that when someone returns from America
“True........exactly,” he said wondering, “And when, even he doesn’t know anyone here at all…….”
“That’s what………..,” she said opening up, “but dads don’t understand. How easily you could understand what I felt........but these oldies……..they never listen, never understand, force you to meet people you have never seen or met.....and hope that you will get married to them.............it sucks.”
“You too.....??” he asked surprised.
“You mean to say........is the same with you ??” she broke in a beautiful laughter reaching her eyes, spreading across all over her face and made him smile too.
“Yeah.....” he laughed with embarrassment.
“I get it….......these parties, you know......we should re-name them as marriage bureaus.”
He just laughed at this.
“I mean it............all they talk of is that how to increase business and how to hook one’s daughter with other’s son. Gosh !!! they should get a life..........”
He had been with many women before.....he had girlfriends in New York
“Exactly..........so that is what made you loiter around here?” he was enjoying talking to her.
“Yeah.........just like you.........I was trying to avoid this party, this match making and that Shantanu Khandelwal.”
“What?? Why him?”
“He is the one who I am supposed to meet......” she answered as a matter of fact.
“Have you seen him before?” he asked softly, trying to judge her.
“Never.........and I don’t want to see him too……..”
“Why?” he was disappointed……forgetting that even he was avoiding meeting her.
“I can’t get married to him….....am not going to meet him. Why meet someone, who I clearly, don’t want to get married to….....”
“Any specific reasons....?”
“Why should I tell you...?”
“Because ‘I’ am Shantanu Khandelwal.....”
“Omggggg......” she put her hand on her face.
“Yes,......I am ‘The Shantanu’ who is the host of this ‘boring’ party, who came from New York , yesterday and is responsible for troubling so many people to make them feel excited…. ‘just because he came back’ and the person who your dad wanted you to meet.......”
She twitched her lips and ran her tongue on her dry lips between a very embarrassed smile.
“Alright........so ‘you’ are Ms. Khanak.....’The Much-hyped Khanak’ ....who everybody in my family is crazy about................”.he spoke in a jovial tone and smiled.
“I am so sorry for all that I spoke……please forgive me….….” She said and pouted.
“Only, on one condition....”
“And that is……”
“You have to tell me that why were you strolling here to avoid meeting me.....I mean, why were you avoiding me......??”
“But then, even you were lurking out here and you accepted just now, that even you didn’t want to meet me.....”
“I have my reasons…..and I will tell you that...........but it started with you.....” (he didn’t have any reasons now, he just wanted to be with her, was completely besotted by her…. ....she had overpowered his thoughts…….. everything…....)
“Okay......I don’t believe in marrying someone I don’t love……..and actually, I like someone else.........” she blushed again taking away all colour from his face. He looked at her with blank expressions on his pale face and tried to hide his disappointment.
He was just hurt at ego, he thought, and couldn’t possibly fall for her in so less time..... they had just met. He had been with a lot of women, some of which he found interesting and many of them found him interesting.
He was always confident of himself. He had everything that a girl looked for, when considering a man……But here she was, least perturbed by his persona…….he had never been rejected so outrightly.
Is it rejection that is hurting me? Or something else? He shrugged to himself, trying to shrug off the disappointment. For the first time, he had liked someone instantly, and she liked someone else……
“Who is the lucky guy?” he said…..he didn’t know why he did not like it !!!
“First you tell, your reasons.....”
“I have just returned from America, have lots of dreams to achieve………I want to settle myself professionally and I don’t want to get hooked so soon.............not before 30.” He said recalling the earlier reasons, which seemed shallow now. He so wanted to be around her…….of course, he wasn’t sure about the marriage thing…..
“Oh God !! Do guys think like that?”
“I don’t know about all guys, but most of us think like that…..........and men are generally commitment –phobic, so they tend to push marriage as far as they can………”
“I am trying to understand….”
“Why? Why are you trying to understand?”
“To understand men in general…….”
“So who is the lucky guy?” he repeated the question.
“He works as a Senior manager in your company…..his name is Suraj,” she spoke slowly and he noticed that she hesitated while talking about him.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone……so since how long have you been with him…?”
“It’s nothing. I came to your office a few times and liked him. I just like him, he doesn’t know….”
“So you are not in a relationship?? You like someone from one-side !!” he saw a ray of hope, hiding a smile.
What?? Shaan what are you thinking....it’s not even half an hour since you met her.....
“Hell ! no, it’s not a relationship….......I like him....since I came to your office ....I lost my senses when I saw him.”
He felt bitter again, hearing her sigh on Suraj. He had loads of girlfriends but had never felt this way....and she wasn’t even his girlfriend…....
He realized that he needed to go away and more than that, he needed a drink !!
The rain had stopped and they started walking, he walked faster and she almost followed him, trying to keep pace with him.
“Shantanu Khandelwal...........will you help me?” she called when she was a little behind due to wet grass.
“Help? In what?” he turned back and asked.
“See, you just told me what you feel about marriage.....may be there are so many gestures and things that I don’t know or understand about Suraj.....can you help me figuring out what he thinks?”
“Why should I help you?” he shrugged.
“Because friends always help each other....”
“Friends?....... We have just met......”
“So what......there is something that clicks…..it doesn’t need time. And you know, there is a ‘connect’ between two people. Either it is there or not………..the way we could connect immediately told me that we will make great friends.” She smiled.
He smiled back and did not answer her. They were about the reach the party hall when she turned to him and made him stand too.
“So, you tell me……will you help me?”
“What am I supposed to do?” he said, giving up. He just knew that he wanted her to keep talking to him. And this feeling made him feel helpless. He had never imagined that he will ever behave like that with a girl.
“For start……tell your parents that you like me and we have decided to get married.”
“What ?”
“See, you don’t want to get married for next 4-5 years…..this will save both of us from meeting further any prospective suitors for us and give me time too……”
“But………….I don’t think it is good to ……..” he spoke but was interrupted.
“Listen, what they do is no good either. My dad will pester me and will try to find another groom for me……if you refuse. Please……..”
He felt a pang somewhere deep down in his heart and knew it was an unusual feeling. Even he did not want her dad to look for any other boy for her.
“Alright…….I am with you……”
“Thanks………” she was elated.
As decided, they told their parents that they met each other in the party and liked each other. The only difference was that Shantanu meant what he spoke. He had really liked her and given a chance, he would have considered her for something serious. He had been clean bowled by her.
She joined their office again, in an attempt to see Suraj and meet him. Shantanu had not met Suraj yet, but never knew that he would be so uncomfortable and angry at someone without even meeting him. He hated even the name of Suraj.
She used to come everyday to the office and sit with him for a long time, chatting in between work. They talked a lot and he constantly tried to shun her thoughts away from his system. The more he tried, the more he failed.
They usually went for coffee and lunch together and she made him speak more than he usually did. He met her at office in the daytime and dreamt about her at night. After coming from NY, he did not make even a single female friend or girlfriend. It wasn’t that he was abnormal, but he didn’t get attracted to someone after her…….knowing very well that he needed a life and she was trying to woo Suraj.
“Shantanu, I don’t know what to do?” she said once, twitching her lips.
“Why don’t you just go and tell him?” he said irked at her, though he never wanted her to do this and later regretted even suggesting this, as she took it seriously.
“I always thought that there is no need to tell someone, that you like him……people understand themselves. And there is no place for verbal confession.”
“It is important, believe me,” he said, thinking about his own condition, “people might not understand unless you tell them. Even if they do, there may be doubts…..we are all humans…..vulnerable to insecurities, hurt……even if he understands, he might not be able to make the first move……someone has to do it.”
“So, you think there is a need to say ‘I love you’……”
“I don’t think there is always a ‘need’………..no there is no ‘need’…….but if you do it, especially in initial stages……..it makes the other person feel wanted, loved, treasured ………gives him confidence that you value him and keep him above others………you can say it ‘only’ ‘if’ you feel it for someone……….and if you really love someone…… …I think saying it kind-of ‘seals the deal’….….” he spoke like a true businessman.
He was not sure what he himself felt for her, but it was definitely not friendliness, he was sure of that. She was on his mind 24*7……..he dreamt of her…..he missed her when she was late and dreaded that she might not come that day………he loved hearing her talk… ….he loved sharing his own feelings, his experiences with her……..he loved just being with her even without speaking when they seriously worked together……..he wanted to share everything he had with her……..he wanted to hold her……touch her…..feel her… ……kiss her…….!!
He shuddered at the thoughts and shrugged them off when he saw her sitting in front of him and looking at him amused as he was staring at her lost in her thoughts. He wondered if he should follow his own advice and tell her about his condition before she did.
Maybe she gave him a chance, considered him and found him better than Suraj….
Have I fallen in love with her? Is it love? But how…….no it must be a physical attraction and I am getting more crazy because she is the first one in this world to reject me…..she didn’t even look at me properly and was always lost in Suraj’s world. It hurt my ego……it’s simply an ego fight………it might not be love…… he told himself and once again tried to shun away her thoughts from his mind.
He advised her regarding many things that she could do to impress Suraj, and regretted immediately every time after he spoke. His life had started becoming a mess and his mind and heart became out of his control, not listening to any of his commands. He felt helpless.
He was trying to concentrate on a file on his desk when he heard a knock on the door and saw her entering inside. She wore a blue chiffon saree with her silky hair let loose on her shoulders, minimal makeup, small ear-rings and a few bangles on her wrist. She looked divine and breathtakingly beautiful.
He sighed and tried to control his heart from racing fast. She came and sat in front of him.
“How do I look?” she finally asked.
“You look gorgeous…..” he said trying to appear casual and unaffected, focusing on the file.
“Didn’t you say, that men liked women in sarees…….do you think it is good?”
“Of course, it is……you look amazing…..” he still avoided looking at her directly or she would have read what his eyes spoke.
“Thanks……” she blushed and tucked her hair behind her ear.
He tried not to stare at her.
“So, do you think, if I go and talk to him, he will be attracted……?”
“Maybe, he is already attracted to you and is not able to tell you……..”
“Didn’t you say that day…. that it is important to tell………?”
“I did…….but not everyone is able to tell what he feels, it depends on circumstances too.”
“Shantanu, I am trying my best to make the circumstances favourable, even then if someone is not able to speak, it is his fault……”
“Why don’t you say?”
“Can a girl say first?”
“Yes, Of course………..we live in 21st century. Girls can do anything…..and when it comes to liking someone……why not?” he stood up from his chair and came towards her side and spoke leaning on the desk.
“If I speak first, will he be able to understand? Won’t he think that I am some cheap, desperate kind of female……”
He hated to hear anything like that for her, “Not at all. Everyone knows you……you are so genuine and upfront. You are not saying it to everyone, just to one person……and if he really knows you, he will understand……”
“If a girl came to you and told you how much she loves you……” she whispered, stood up looking at his eyes and asked innocently.
He didn’t answer and was disturbed by her presence as she had unknowingly come very close while getting up from her chair.
He looked at her face and his eyes dropped to her lips that he had been obsessing over since past one month. Even after trying hard to control himself, he was not able to listen to his mind and leaned forwards, where she was hardly a step away, and kissed her. Her lips were softer than he had imagined and she gasped lightly out of shock but did not break it. He slipped his arms around her slender waist taking her in an embrace and she slowly slid her hands behind the nape of his neck taking his hair between her fingers. He brought her much closer that she could feel his heart beats and quivering lips over hers. Millions of sensations went through her and she could feel her spine aching, her mind ringing and her neck stiffening in an attempt to stay attuned to him, as she kissed him back. Her heart raced and her willpower clouded for several minutes when all they could feel was each other. He left a trail of kisses when he moved away from her lips to her cheek, her eyes, her forehead and his hands cupped her face after finding it difficult to stay at her waist. He moved himself away to look at her face, her eyes were closed and she shivered with trembling lips.
He felt like saying that how much he loved her but stopped himself. She could feel his heavy breath on her face and was about to say something when someone knocked at the door. They composed themselves within a few seconds and while he ordered the person out side to come in, she walked away slowly, without even looking back at him.
A few papers were about to be signed. He did that and sent the unwanted visitor back. After that he tried hard but couldn’t concentrate on work. He couldn’t keep her out of his mind.
So, he told Akshay that he was leaving and took the half day off to go home. On his way out, he saw Suraj in his cabin working seriously and secretly envied him.
He spent the whole day remembering her. And decided that he ‘needed’ to tell her what he felt about her. He didn’t want her to think of him as a guy who tried to take advantage of a female in a weak moment and shuddered at the thought of her hating him. He knew that she would be really angry at him right now, but she should know how much he loved her and for him she was more precious and special than anything else in his life. He was now sure that he was in love with her and genuinely felt the need to be with her all the time.
But, the possibility of her being upset at him made him nervous.
Should he forget it…..and ask her to forget it too !! Should he wait for her to respond.
She had not called him or talked to him since morning.
His mind was just not responding correctly as he was completely lost and without any clue, what he should do…..
After that 4 days passed and there was no news from her. Shantanu became really anxious about her well being and also whether she was upset at him. She had to be really angry as he had behaved in such an immature way. He had kissed her in his office. She had trusted him and talked to him non-stop for so many days and all he could do was become physical with her. He felt let down by himself and extremely miserable.
He realized that he had to talk to her and apologise and maybe will never tell her that he loved her or maybe he would……he wasn’t able to decide.
Apologising was something definite which he had decided……so he thought to proceed in that direction first.
He considered calling her but then thought that he should go and talk to her, even if it carried the risk of getting a slap from her, at least he should try to save whatever sweet relationship they had.
He called her……she picked up the phone.
“Khanak, it’s me….”
“I know……” she spoke slowly.
“Where are you……” his words were cautiously measured.
“At my home……….where are you?”
“At the parking of your building…………I want to talk to you…..”
“Come up…..’
“I can’t talk in front of your parents…..”
“No one is home……....they have gone to meet your parents…..”
He parked his car and took the elevator. He couldn’t judge anything from her voice and that made him feel more terrible. He knew that he had to apologise and if possible, tell her how he felt…..but all this seemed like a difficult project right now. The lift took ages to reach the tenth floor and he tapped his foot impatiently.
When he pressed the doorbell, she opened the door within a few seconds……She looked angelic in a light blue kurta and a loose white salwar……her hair were half-wet and there was a fresh lavender aroma around…..she appeared to have had a shower some time back and looked fresh and tempting.
He did not expect her to smile when she asked him to come inside, but she did and closed the door. He followed her inside but was completely speechless. Finally he gathered some courage to speak.
“How are you?”
“How do I look?” she spoke softly turning to look at him.
“Why did you not come to the office for 4 days?”
“Did you miss me?”
“Can you answer for an answer, why do you question back when you are supposed to answer?”
“Why are you asking the questions when you know the answers?”
“Are you always this stubborn?”
“Why do you want to know more about me?”
“I am going back…..……” he started to turn.
“No, you wanted to talk, right?”
“I can’t…….”
“I know you can….…..” she said looking at him and added hopefully.
He saw a ray of hope again and couldn’t guess why but he thought she knew what he wanted to say……he stopped where he was.
He walked towards her and stood maintaining a comfortable distance.
“I am sorry…..”
“For what?” she asked.
“I kissed you that day……” he said after shrugging lightly.
“In that case, I should be saying sorry too…..” she spoke looking at him.
“For what?”
“I kissed you back……”
The thought and the feeling that arose after remembering that kiss….sent shivers of thrill around him. He realized that she was right. She did kiss him back.
“But why? Why did you kiss me back?” he spoke confused.
“because, I wanted you to kiss me and was waiting for you to kiss me….”
“Me?”
“Yes, you ! I wore a pretty saree for you but it seemed as if you were completely unaffected.”
“You wore it for me? But didn’t you tell me that you wanted to impress ‘him’.
“Dumbo….” She came closer and wound her arms around his neck and spoke softly, “If I wanted to impress ‘him’…….I would have asked him…..not you.”
“How do I know? You kept talking about him all the time….……”
“You couldn’t see that though I kept talking about him, but I never tried to talk ‘to’ him……but I talked ‘to’ you……I spent time ‘with’ you……not him…..”
“You asked what men liked……” he was completely confused.
“I meant…. ‘you’……I wanted to know what you liked and did exactly that……but you were never affected…..”
“I was…………I was affected……..severely…..”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why didn’t ‘you’ tell me……. ‘you’ were playing games. I always thought you liked Suraj.”
“How could I have said it? I had told you that I liked him……now after a few days if I say that Shantanu, I don’t like him…..actually I like you…..what would you have thought about me. Moreover, I was not sure what you felt about me…….so there was always a fear of rejection, until you kissed……but you could have always said it……”
“How could I say it to a girl who kept talking of some other man…....by the way…… when did you realize that you like me and not him…..”
“Always…..” she shrugged and said casually.
“What?”
“Suraj was a small crush,” she showed a small sign using her thumb and index finger, “and I always used his name to evade marriage…..but the day I first came to your office, I realized that I wanted to talk to you, sit with you and spend time with you…..I couldn’t stay away from you but my mistake, had already taken Suraj’s name, so couldn’t say anything…..just kept thinking whether you felt the same…...and hoped for you to feel something and say it……..”
“Oh God…..you almost killed me…..you silly,” he held her closely placing hands on her back.
“I was so nervous…….thought you will get me married to Suraj instead…..so interested were you in helping me…….”
“Forget it……….I was nervous that you will get married to him and I won’t be able to do anything.”
“Never, I would have made you fall in love with me…..”
“You didn’t need to……….I was already in love with you……”
She blushed and closed her eyes tilting her chin to raise her lips inviting him and he simply obliged.
